Why your story holds many clues to your success or failure with Expert Mary Henderson

Episode 169

Welcome everyone to the FiringTheMan Podcast, on today’s episode we have the privilege to interview Mary Henderson.  Mary is a Transformational Leader and an internationally recognised Personal Branding & Online Business Specialist.

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https://www.maryhendersoncoaching.com/

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https://www.youtube.com/maryhenderson

https://www.linkedin.com/in/maryhendersoncoaching/ 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/industryexperts 

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00;00;24;05 – 00;00;51;11
Speaker 1
Welcome, everyone to the Firing the Man Podcast. On today’s episode, we have the privilege to interview Mary Henderson. Mary is a transformational leader and informational. She recognized personal branding an online business specialist. Mary helps industry experts system at ties digitalize and commercialize their knowledge, wisdom and skills into a scalable and profitable online business and brand. So they become an authority in their niche or industry.

00;00;51;12 – 00;01;13;03
Speaker 2
Mary has 22 years of experience building seven and eight figure businesses and building high performance sales teams in the IT sector and 15 years delivering online solutions for large and small businesses. She has been featured in many publications and is regarded as a thought leader in the digital sector. Mary is also the founder and publisher of the Industry Expert Magazine.

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00;01;13;04 – 00;01;22;11
Speaker 2
Mary is heart centered, compassionate and a tenacious entrepreneur who thrives on human transformation and witnessing people fulfill their dreams. Welcome to the show, Mary.

00;01;22;12 – 00;01;25;09
Speaker 1
Thank you, David and Ken, for having me. I really appreciate it.

00;01;25;09 – 00;01;34;11
Speaker 2
Absolutely. So to start off the episode, can you give the audience a little bit of your background and experience that led you to where you’re at today?

00;01;34;12 – 00;01;51;18
Speaker 1
Absolutely. Well, as you said in my introduction and thank you for that, my background is in the tech industry. You know, they say you could take the girl out of tech, you can take the tech out of girls, but it’s very much a part of my DNA today, even in my coaching business. But I essentially started in the tech industry.

00;01;51;19 – 00;02;20;21
Speaker 1
I came face to face with personal branding. In year 2000, there was a sliding door moment. I had this unbelievable opportunity and recognized in that moment, Oh my God. Like, I can literally command my demand. If I can solve this complex problem and consciously go out, solve that, do an amazing job, but also at the at the same time, make sure that every vendor in that in the tech space knows about me and knows that I could solve this problem, which is exactly what happened.

00;02;20;23 – 00;02;45;23
Speaker 1
It was all very strategic and deliberate in saying that I did command my demand. I got a lot of job offers. I ended up working for a major tech company out in California as their VP of Sales for Asia Pacific. And the thing about personal branding back then is for me it was about human transformation. It was about ditching job descriptions and converting my sales team into brands based on who they were in their natural state of being.

00;02;45;23 – 00;03;15;23
Speaker 1
That was my focus back then and it worked unbelievably. Could you imagine growing your business from 4 million to 54 million in 48 months? That is unheard of in the tech industry with triple digit margins. So I knew I was on to something. And then 2005, I started my own entrepreneurial journey. This is my third startup. Essentially. I started my first startup, which was developing actual products out of China, laptop bags, peripherals, selling them into the retail sector here in Australia.

00;03;15;23 – 00;03;32;27
Speaker 1
And then I started my software company, which was all very service based, but I saw a nation, the academic sector, and we just focused on building web based membership systems and they were all bespoke back then. You know, there was no lean dash and, you know, all of those cloud services, you know, we were building membership systems from ground up.

00;03;32;27 – 00;03;53;08
Speaker 1
And then from there, you know, I had a bit of a crisis around 2007 and 2012 in the sense that I had this software business. I built it for seven years from ground up from an idea into a multi seven app business that had an infrastructure, a team, an amazing office in the arts precinct here in Melbourne. And I thought, I’m actually in the wrong job.

00;03;53;09 – 00;04;09;05
Speaker 1
Like, this is not what I want to do for the rest of my life, you know? And you know, working in the academic sector actually is quite depressing. You know, actually serving that sector is actually quite depressing. You know, tech people are quite introverted. So that was in bringing the best out of me. I wasn’t with my tribe, essentially.

00;04;09;05 – 00;04;31;13
Speaker 1
And I gave birth to my second son on September the eighth, 2011. I had this unbelievable epiphany and realized I’m in the wrong job. I’m still searching for validation and see this business card is actually defining who I am and how I show up in the world. So I resigned from my own company. I made it my business with a creative agency.

00;04;31;13 – 00;05;02;11
Speaker 1
January 2012. I went on a 12 month sabbatical. I had mentors, professors in philosophy, in the academics, in the emotional body. Quantum Physics says. I genuinely wanted to know who am I? What is my purpose? What am I doing here? Where do I go from this point? And actually, it was the first time in my adult life that I didn’t work, like literally, like trying to go in inside myself and go into that place of soul searching until I recognized three quarters into the year through the guidance of my mentors.

00;05;02;12 – 00;05;23;08
Speaker 1
Hang on a minute. Like I’ve got all of this internal inventory, I can do things with ease and grace. I understand sales, I understand personal branding, I understand the digital landscape. I know how to create frameworks and understand how to create experiences for the user and reverse engineer that I knew how to do all of that with ease and grace.

00;05;23;08 – 00;05;44;07
Speaker 1
And I loved that. And also I loved working with people, individuals. I don’t like being in a corporate environment where I’ve got, you know, like well-rested lights, you know, shining on me. And I just I don’t like that environment. I need that. What lights me up is genuinely human transformation. Seeing people thrive and succeed from an idea from nothing to something.

00;05;44;07 – 00;06;06;03
Speaker 1
And that’s when I realized, okay, with all of my skills and all of my wisdom, my knowledge, I if I merge all of that inventory together, oh, my God, I’m actually sitting on a gold mine. Like, this is real currency here. The question is, what am I going to do with that? And that’s when I transitioned into becoming a full time coach, built out an entire system that’s end to end, totally results driven.

00;06;06;03 – 00;06;15;04
Speaker 1
And here I am today from 2015, which is when I went live as a full time coach to this day. And I get to call the loves of my life my vocation.

00;06;15;05 – 00;06;34;22
Speaker 3
That’s that’s an incredible story. And thanks for sharing it. And and you’ve got a wealth of experience. Sounds like some tremendous growth in the industry. Yeah, just a very, very wide array of experience. I also like that you mentioned Tribe like you didn’t feel like you were connected, like something was missing. There was a gap and I think a lot of people feel that throughout their journey as well.

00;06;34;22 – 00;06;41;13
Speaker 3
There is one statement here. Can you explain this statement and you touched on a little bit earlier, wisdom is a currency. Can you explain that?

00;06;41;13 – 00;07;09;11
Speaker 1
Oh, my God, Ken, That is my favorite subject. Honestly, that’s the legacy I want to leave behind. I want people to understand the power of waste. Let’s think about this. You know, if you have accumulated knowledge and skills said based on an area of specialization and I’m talking people that come from the corporate landscape, there are so many people that have got an accumulation of knowledge and a skill set that has become their wisdom, because wisdom is mostly intuitive.

00;07;09;11 – 00;07;35;06
Speaker 1
It’s like it’s learned knowledge, it’s repetition, and you come from it from a standpoint with wisdom where you already know the outcome because you’ve seen the 20 trillion times take place good, bad and ugly. So wisdom converts into real intuition. There’s a real knowing deep down inside at a soul level when we look at wisdom. But when you look at when you dissect wisdom, you can only get wisdom from that learned knowledge and learn skill set.

00;07;35;06 – 00;08;10;00
Speaker 1
So when you merge all that together, how many people then are actually sitting on an accumulation of knowledge and skill set and wisdom, therefore, and doing nothing with it? So if you’ve accumulated, say, 10000 hours, let’s just say in sales for example, and you multiply that by $100 an hour, you’re sitting on $1,000,000 goldmine. The question is how do you actually merge all of those attributes, all of those moving parts within that and find a solution to a problem and serve an audience, a business that is looking for that problem to be solved.

00;08;10;00 – 00;08;38;27
Speaker 1
And I think what happens too often, especially people that are leaving the corporate landscape, the fear is all around, how am I going to replace my salary? No one actually looks as wisdom as a real currency because everyone’s looking at the fee coming from a fee standpoint, looking at how do I replace my salary? But the thing I do want to stress here about wisdom is that I truly believe that the next wave of professionals and the only way that we can solve issues in the world is through wisdom.

00;08;38;27 – 00;08;58;13
Speaker 1
There is no other way, you know, people that are learning, reading three books and calling themselves experts, they are dying out big time. But the guys that have come back with their story, with their experience, with their knowledge and their skills and call that wisdom, they’re the guys that are going to rise, are very, very high and will be in high demand moving forward.

00;08;58;13 – 00;09;00;02
Speaker 1
I’m already seeing that right now.

00;09;00;03 – 00;09;18;21
Speaker 2
I really like that and want to dive in a little bit deeper here. So you you had mentioned it in one of your first responses that you had kind of had a period of a mid-life crisis, right, where your business card was defining who you were. And I think you’re speaking to a lot of our audience members. In fact, I am thinking of one particular person that I know.

00;09;18;21 – 00;09;34;17
Speaker 2
Listen to this podcast. Chris. I’m talking to you who has who has told me I’m unhappy in my job. I want to do something differently. But what what do I do next? Like, what is my next step? And so can you can you talk about that process a little bit and you’ve identified you’re unhappy and where you’re at.

00;09;34;17 – 00;09;40;05
Speaker 2
You want to change course, but you don’t know how to how do you take this, this wisdom and turn it into currency?

00;09;40;05 – 00;09;58;29
Speaker 1
I love that question, David. And as you were saying that, I was actually getting goose bumps because I relate to the story as well. You know, if we don’t show up every day in our natural state of being, we need to look at that as a red flag immediately because that doesn’t activate the creative genius inside of us that’s waiting to be activated.

00;09;58;29 – 00;10;12;15
Speaker 1
So that’s the first thing I want to say. The second thing is, if we’re unhappy in our job, most people react and they cut the cord. They’re like, I’m out of here and I’m going to become an entrepreneur and everything’s going to be great. And my advice is never do that. That is the worst thing you can do.

00;10;12;15 – 00;10;30;03
Speaker 1
You know, I work with a lot of people who are still in corporate and they’re building their contingency plan along the side until they’re ready. And there’s this is a moment in time where that can cut the cord. Then we can move forward. There’s no point in just leaving and react unless it’s like so bad that you have to leave.

00;10;30;04 – 00;10;43;28
Speaker 1
But for most people, it’s not that bad. It’s just that it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life, and we have to recognize the difference. But if somebody is in their corporate role and they’re thinking, What am I doing here? I just need to get out of your wish that I could start my own business.

00;10;43;28 – 00;11;04;28
Speaker 1
You know, I don’t know where to start. The first thing to understand is, well, what does that vision actually look like for you? Because starting a business is not just I’m starting a business. It’s like, Well, what type of business do you want to start? You know what what what does that vision actually look like? Get clear on that for me, I knew that I wanted to work with humans like that was it.

00;11;04;28 – 00;11;41;21
Speaker 1
I was very clear on that because that’s where I light up. I don’t light up working in an office environment and having a team of 4500 people. I couldn’t stand that. I like individuals, so I was very clear on that. Okay, I take I want to work with individual. What else can I do? Well, I’ve got all these skills and these that all this knowledge and what I did and what I suggest is all of your knowledge, all of your skills, your passions, your gifts, even your talents, get an Excel spreadsheet and start documenting all of your gifts, all of your talents, all of the accumulated knowledge, all of the skills, all of the attributes,

00;11;41;21 – 00;12;02;15
Speaker 1
everything that you can do with Amazing Grace, you need to see that that is the starting point. Because once you can see that, then you can do something with that. You can make a decision. You can say, Well, wait a minute, maybe, you know, a product service could be for me and I can support that with an actual coaching support, a back up, or maybe I can do it.

00;12;02;15 – 00;12;21;26
Speaker 1
So maybe I’m actually really suited to be a consultant because I can actually solve a serious problem in the corporate landscape. Maybe I can go back into corporate and tenfold my ability, right? This is exactly what my clients do. We find that sliding door moment where their employees and then the employer becomes that client because you imagine that.

00;12;21;26 – 00;12;41;24
Speaker 1
Imagine how what that would look like. And suddenly if my clients do that, that’s where we go. This is not hard to do. It’s just that you have to be strategic, you have to be deliberate, you have to plan. And can I just add two more things in which we all forget. We have to protect our mind and our soul at all costs.

00;12;41;25 – 00;13;08;15
Speaker 1
The thoughts that come in our mind are not our thoughts. The question is where are they coming from? Because that’s what drives my people to make decisions. Those thoughts that keep creeping in saying, Who do you think you are? You’re never going to do these, that you’re going to fail. You’ll never be able to replace your salary. And people stay in this perpetual loop and they never get out because those bullets keep controlling their destiny, which only leads to self-destruction as the three of us know.

00;13;08;19 – 00;13;25;21
Speaker 2
Absolutely. So I think that’s a really valuable point, and I think so many people experience that, that self-doubt. I know I definitely did it. Can we’ve talked about, you know, when you’re starting your own business, it’s tough and you do have a lot of that. And so what advice would you give to those people? Where were the doubts creeping it?

00;13;25;22 – 00;13;27;22
Speaker 2
How do they how do they combat that?

00;13;27;22 – 00;13;47;10
Speaker 1
You know, I just tell you, the easiest way to do this and I believe in turning everything complex into simple, that’s my whole philosophy in life. And the only thing that we need to do is try things to overcome those terrible feelings and thoughts. Number one, the thoughts can immediately disappear just by asking that question, Where did that thought come from?

00;13;47;10 – 00;14;02;20
Speaker 1
Who gave me that thought? The moment you ask that, the moment you’ve challenged the ego, the ego backs off straight away. So I call that our mind virus. When the mind virus is challenged at back salt. So then the thoughts just disappear and you’re like, Oh my God. Like, how come I don’t have those thoughts all day today?

00;14;02;20 – 00;14;23;02
Speaker 1
Because you’ve challenged the ego. The ego knows you’ve found it out. Okay, So that’s all you need to do. Very simple. The other thing is, and this is really important, is to actually get comfortable being uncomfortable with your feelings. I cannot stress this enough every day. Every day, without fail, I will give myself the gift of 15 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour.

00;14;23;05 – 00;14;41;28
Speaker 1
If I have to do just sit and feel that discomfort, whatever it is, something might come up. You know, it’s a client might have said something. I might have. Right? Whatever a thought. And it triggers something inside of me. Anything that’s uncomfortable needs to be addressed immediately. So all we need to do in that situation is we don’t need to buy 42,000 self-help books.

00;14;41;28 – 00;15;05;26
Speaker 1
All we need to do is just sit with that feeling and allow it to transcend through us in silence, not multitask in silence. You just sit there and you allow that energy to just transcend out of your body. I guarantee you, if you do those two things that I’ve just suggested, literally what I’ve just suggested here is like the best two strategies for anyone to transcend from hating their job to loving their vocation.

00;15;05;26 – 00;15;23;26
Speaker 3
Yeah, that’s that’s very powerful. The more you think about it and dissected it. I really like that one question Something you had on Maria’s. You had mentioned getting like an Excel spreadsheet and then kind of writing down all of the things that you like and things that resonate with you. I wonder, I’m not sure about Australia, but in the US I know it’s not that’s just not taught early on.

00;15;23;26 – 00;15;40;11
Speaker 3
I think like does it do you a lot of why people come to you say like mid-career middle age and they’re just like, not like what I’m doing. I and then, and it’s like you have to like remake yourself or reinvent yourself or find happiness. I wonder why we don’t like, do you? When you work with a lot of clients, do you notice that trend that happens?

00;15;40;11 – 00;15;45;19
Speaker 3
Like once they get through a lot of experience through life and they’re through their journey? What do you what are your thoughts on that?

00;15;45;19 – 00;16;03;24
Speaker 1
Oh, can absolutely everyone, everyone that starts working with me that the first the opening line is mostly I’ve got all of this experience. I just don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know how to organize it. I have no idea what solution I can offer. I have no idea who I can serve. I don’t know how to price it.

00;16;03;24 – 00;16;17;23
Speaker 1
I don’t know how to position myself. I’m too old. You know who’s going to look at me? If I go on social media, everyone will laugh at me. You know, I’m not 25, you know, with the hot lips in the hot body and you know how people are going to treat me and think of me and judge me.

00;16;17;23 – 00;16;44;02
Speaker 1
It’s exhausting. But that is not my normal. That’s the that’s the that the normal conversation. I will have. But this is what I keep reminding people, and this is the best example I can give. If a CEO of a Fortune 500 company is in a crisis, who are they going to call on? Are they going to call on the 25 year old who’s got a million followers on Instagram, or are they going to call on the 55 year old that actually knows genuinely how to solve that problem?

00;16;44;08 – 00;16;59;24
Speaker 1
And it has this and has a framework to support it and back it? And who do you think they’re going to call? And so immediately they’re like, Yeah, you’re right. You know, your absolute do you think that they’re going to care that you’re five kilos overweight? Do you think that they’re going to care that you’ve got a bit of gray hair and a couple of wrinkles, honestly?

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00;16;59;24 – 00;17;25;21
Speaker 1
Like, do you actually really think I don’t know anyone that’s 20 that can actually solve major, major, major crisis problems at a board level looking for gray hair, been looking for wrinkles. They want to know that you’ve got the life experience. And another thing is that we have to stop thinking about what other people think of us on social media because I guarantee you, no one’s thinking anything about you ever wants to be thinking about themselves and feeding their own ego, I promise you.

00;17;25;21 – 00;17;49;04
Speaker 1
But if you can actually start a conversation on social media that pulls people into your ecosystem regardless whether your midlife, your 30 or 40, what you look like, talk short, bat skinny doesn’t matter if, but if you can pull people into your ecosystem and start a mature conversation, they’re locked in because you see we’ve we’ve bypassed the no like trust phase and I now call it the no love buy phase.

00;17;49;04 – 00;18;08;05
Speaker 1
We’ve gone way beyond all Get to know me, get to trust me, get to like me. It’s like get to know me, Fall in love with me and then eventually you’ll buy from me. So that requires a different type of dialog on social media, on podcasts, you know, whatever you decide to do to put yourself out there and to spread your message, you know, we have to stop thinking that.

00;18;08;05 – 00;18;16;17
Speaker 1
What do people think of me and start thinking, What am I going to do with this inventory I’m sitting on? That’s what I would be thinking because the world needs that today.

00;18;16;17 – 00;18;39;20
Speaker 2
I’d like to go back and so that this mindset that you’ve adopted, it sounds like you’ve had a very transformational sabbatical and you had mentioned a couple of bullet points that I did not expect when you were talking about your sabbatical. I would think generally if someone was unhappy in their job, something they may do on their sabbatical would be go look at other jobs like on job posting, but you’d seem like you dug deeper.

00;18;39;20 – 00;18;47;21
Speaker 2
And so can you talk about I don’t want to call them alternative. Some of those like more holistic practices that you look to develop during your sabbatical.

00;18;47;21 – 00;19;07;13
Speaker 1
Yeah. I just want to also start by saying that the sabbatical for me was very important. You know, I didn’t because if I went and looked for a job or another thing to fulfill that void, I would be on that hamster wheel cycle again, you know, And it was all about doing for me. Do, do, do, do. I wanted to understand what was it like to just be me?

00;19;07;14 – 00;19;31;00
Speaker 1
Like, that was the first thing I always say to people. I wish that there was a law in every country around the world that every single human being has to take a sabbatical for 12 months by the age of 40. You know, always say that because it’s that critical. And, you know, I David, I didn’t have rituals, although I will say to you, I tried so many different aspects of personal development from shamanic healing, ayahuasca.

00;19;31;00 – 00;19;55;12
Speaker 1
I mean, you know, meditation, yoga, breathing, all of these different modalities, if you like to just open me up. I think that’s what I was looking for. I didn’t really understand the connection between the mind, the soul and the body. Like I really did not understand that I thought I did. And I think a lot of people do because we we’ve been made to believe that self-help is the answer.

00;19;55;12 – 00;20;09;17
Speaker 1
That’s the door opener up. I don’t even think it’s a door open opener. I think it leads you back to a false start. It might have a crack in the door. You might see a little bit of light. And yes, you do have to open the door to walk in, but you also then have to be prepared to go down that rabbit hole.

00;20;09;17 – 00;20;32;26
Speaker 1
And it’s the rabbit hole that’s very uncomfortable. And so when I engage my mentors, one of the things that they immediately asked me to embrace was getting comfortable with my emotional self. And that was I was really triggered by a lot of things. And that was because I had a lot of trauma trapped inside my body being raised from a serial narcissistic mother.

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00;20;32;26 – 00;20;52;13
Speaker 1
I mean, the trauma that was trapped in my body at a soul level, my thought process, you know, I went to this crazy mindset I’ve got to do I’m going to be successful. I’ve got to prove my mother wrong. All those terrible things that she said to me, I’m going to prove her wrong. I wasn’t saying that out loud, but at a sublime level I was conscious that that’s actually what was happening for me.

00;20;52;13 – 00;21;12;04
Speaker 1
It was really getting comfortable being uncomfortable. And that’s very confronting, like really confronting because you have to train yourself that each time something is triggered, you have to sit with your body and actually allow yourself to feel it. And I can’t tell you how uncomfortable that is at first. Now it’s my normal anything that triggers me, it’s like, right, It requires my attention.

00;21;12;04 – 00;21;26;13
Speaker 1
Sit quietly. You know, I just feel it. And this is what I was saying to you before, David. It’s simple. We’ve got to get out of this mindset All. We’ve got to go to the shamanic healing and do ayahuasca and, you know, go to the Amazon and then do the eat, pray, love thing at all. Do, do, do.

00;21;26;14 – 00;21;44;15
Speaker 1
None of that is required when you actually take a step back, when you really look at it where I’m at today, remember that happening 2012. It’s 2023. 11 years later, I’m still doing my practice as of course, it’s a lot easier because I stuck to it. I’m committed to it. I’m committed to myself. I’m committed to becoming the best version of myself.

00;21;44;15 – 00;22;07;08
Speaker 1
So I’m going to do whatever it takes to get there. But realistically, those practices for me were breathing, sitting with myself in silence to allow myself to listen to my thoughts. A lot of journaling, a lot of journaling, and of course, managing the mind. But there’s another thing I want to add to this, and this is critical. A lot of people have been brainwashed to believe that you’ve got to write your goals and your vision boards and goals, goals, goals.

00;22;07;08 – 00;22;24;26
Speaker 1
But goals are all mostly connected to materialistic outcomes, and that’s still a part of beating the ego. And, you know, and it’s all about doing when you write a vision, it’s about being who do I want to be? Who do I want to impact? What legacy do I want to lead? And visions are audacious. They’re massive. They’re be beyond comprehension.

00;22;24;26 – 00;22;47;06
Speaker 1
And when you understand the vision allows us, when you understand sorry, quantum physics and you understand that you are participating in creating your own reality, then you’ll understand why visions and goals are very, very different. And so this is why journaling is, is another important aspect of becoming who we want to be, because it’s like you’re unfolding layers and layers of yourself.

00;22;47;06 – 00;22;54;05
Speaker 1
But most importantly, giving ourselves that time in silence to actually hear what the inner voice is actually saying to us.

00;22;54;05 – 00;23;14;10
Speaker 3
Yeah, that’s really interesting. I’ve never taking a 12 month sabbatical, but what you’re saying is that you feel it’s imperative for someone to do that in order to just maybe like have the quiet space and time to really think about what’s going to make you happier and kind of fine then like go and find that is that you’re saying that’s it’s imperative to do that.

00;23;14;10 – 00;23;32;11
Speaker 1
And the thing is can that not everyone can take 12 months off like I did and not everyone can do the eat, pray, love scene. Go to Bali, go to India. I couldn’t do that either. We don’t even need to do the 12 month sabbatical. I had to do it for myself because I just had to cut the cord to everything in my life.

00;23;32;11 – 00;23;51;21
Speaker 1
That was fight credit cards, friends, social circles. I just wanted to escape that because that was not me. I recognized that we don’t have to do what I do. What we have to do is make conscious decisions and ask ourselves. That’s why the vision is so critical. If I write my vision, then the next question is does my inner circle support that vision?

00;23;51;22 – 00;24;19;10
Speaker 1
You know, does my job support that vision is who I am today supporting that vision is my personal. If I invested enough in my personal development to allow me to grow to support that vision. So if we commit to something each day, whether it’s sitting in silence, journaling, just being mindful, feeling our feelings, whatever it may be, just a small commitment every day that subtlety goes a long, long way.

00;24;19;10 – 00;24;41;16
Speaker 1
So I’m not saying you have to leave your job. Absolutely not. Don’t. That was just my journey and knowing what I know now, we can all achieve that by remaining in our current situation. Except we have to start asking ourselves some very truthful questions. Am I in this relationship that’s going to help support me in that vision? Are these people that I’m that I call my inner circle?

00;24;41;16 – 00;25;08;10
Speaker 1
Are they supporting my vision? Does my current employment support that vision? These are very important life questions. But if we’re not asking those questions, we’re on a hamster wheel, allowing the external world to control our destiny. And that’s not an option for me at all. You know, I want to control my destiny. I want to participate in my reality and creating my reality and also my thoughts are also not going to control my destiny either.

00;25;08;10 – 00;25;25;22
Speaker 1
So I have to have a discipline where that’s concerned and be mindful that when those those thoughts come through my mind, I can stop myself and say, Where the hell did that come from? Right? So it’s about discipline and it’s creating a discipline, something each day that moves you one step closer to that vision.

00;25;25;23 – 00;25;27;18
Speaker 3
I like that. That’s that’s powerful already.

00;25;27;18 – 00;25;46;13
Speaker 2
David, you’ve talked a lot about inner circle. You’ve talked a lot about mentorship. I do believe that mentorship is something that a lot of people lack. And so to some of our listeners that may be lacking a mentorship role, what would be some words of advice that you would have for them to kind of initiate and go out and find the mentor or inner circle that’s going to support their their vision?

00;25;46;13 – 00;26;04;24
Speaker 1
That is the best question. I love that. And the reason I love it is because I believe in mentorship with my heart and my soul. There is no way I would be talking to you guys today had I not invested in mentors throughout the years. I’m constantly in the hands of mentors and being guided to a much bigger vision.

00;26;04;24 – 00;26;30;00
Speaker 1
He’s what happens in, in, out in the marketplace. People do want mentors, they do want coaches. But what they do is they find the cheapest solution that they believe they will solve their problem, but it never does because it always comes down to that magic word, wisdom. You know, if you’re going to invest in a kickass mentor and coach, they and they can’t support that offering with wisdom, the breath and the depth of wisdom.

00;26;30;00 – 00;26;45;14
Speaker 1
So when people are asking Mary a question or David or Ken a question, I’m not saying, Hey, you just go to module nine and just read less than five and you should be able to, you know, just download the blueprint and you should be able to implement, then everything will be okay. Wouldn’t it be better to say, okay, let’s brainstorm this?

00;26;45;15 – 00;27;02;21
Speaker 1
In my experience, this is what’s happened. I’ve done this 20 million times. I wouldn’t suggest that you go down that path. I suggest you go down. He’s the reason why, right? Two different outcomes. And so what I find is people want mentorship, they want coaching. Then they’ll say they’ll speak to you about and you’ll say, Yeah, my fees are and they’ll speak to somebody else.

00;27;02;21 – 00;27;18;10
Speaker 1
And the fees are a quarter of the price. I’ll go with a purse. That’s a quarter of the price because they kind of sounds like they do the same thing. And then what happens? It leads them to wear a false start. It’s not a coincidence. Why the top elite sports people in high performers in corporate get the best coaches that cost hundreds and thousands of dollars.

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00;27;18;10 – 00;27;38;27
Speaker 1
There’s a reason for that. And so for me, mentorship is an investment in my growth. If I’m not growing, I’m going to be stagnant. I’m going to be stopped. Somebody needs to challenge my mind. Somebody needs to challenge my paradigm. Somebody needs to say, Hey, you can get here, you’re here, and that’s your gaps. We’ve got to figure out how you’re going to get from here to here.

00;27;38;27 – 00;28;03;01
Speaker 1
And and through mentorship, that individual can actually show me a pathway, the shortest time possible to get from from A to B, fulfill that gap. I don’t need to learn it through trial and error. I can get a mentor that can actually fulfill that gap in a very short period of time and expand my horizons beyond belief. So mentors are critical as long as the mentor can provide the wisdom to back it up.

00;28;03;01 – 00;28;24;16
Speaker 1
They’ve got the background to actually take you on the journey to transformation and results, not just deliverables. And this is the other difference. So many mentors and coaches are delivering on deliverables. They’re giving you things that are knowledgeable and information that we can find on Google, but not many can deliver transform action and actual results.

00;28;24;16 – 00;28;45;11
Speaker 3
Yeah, I like that analogy of closing that gap. Like I think of it sometimes as like skipping the line. You know, if you can find someone that’s been there and done that, you ask them how to, how they did it and you can you can get there quickly. On that note, what are some things that you’ve seen a lot with clients or, you know, other people struggling with figuring out who they are or what’s next for them or how to be successful?

00;28;45;11 – 00;28;51;16
Speaker 3
What are some things that you see over and over again that you can share with the audience and maybe help some people in the audience skip the line?

00;28;51;16 – 00;29;12;21
Speaker 1
Yeah, I think that the thing that I see all the time, Ken, is that so many people are focused on a goal to get a sale and then everything’s going to be okay. This is what I say, that a mindset out in the marketplace. And I want to, you know, I want people to understand that that is the lead generation and sales should always be the effect of the cause, never the cause of the effect.

00;29;12;21 – 00;29;40;10
Speaker 1
And so buying this and how do we how do we get there? Well, we need to define who we are first and foremost as a brand. We need to get very clear on that because I want the outside world to perceive my brand in the way that I’ve defined it. First and foremost, I can build my brand, but I can define my brand, the external world, build my brand based on how they feel about me, how they experience me, and the ecstatic experience that I can provide them across my different communication touchpoints.

00;29;40;10 – 00;29;59;20
Speaker 1
So branding is critical because it sets the foundation, it sets the scene, if you will, in the movie of business who Kenny is. This is who David is. This has been Mary is, you know, her branding colors are eggs. This is what she stands for. You know, how do I make people feel when they listen to me? You know, that that needs to be part of my branding as well.

00;29;59;20 – 00;30;22;11
Speaker 1
So I’ve got to get that really building because through my branding, I can get my messaging right. I can understand who who the audience is that I want to talk to. I understand their pain points and I understand how to start a conversation with them from a like minded zone. This is really important and it’s it’s through language in the way that we frame our language that pulls people in to get to know love or buy from us.

00;30;22;11 – 00;30;43;04
Speaker 1
And the next part is then systematizing all of that inventory, like how do we now convert all of this inventory, your knowledge, your wisdom, your skills, your passions, your gifts, your talents, your values? How do we merge all of that together? And how do we actually create a solution that can solve a problem, that can deliver promise based on transformation and result?

00;30;43;04 – 00;31;05;26
Speaker 1
And then how do we provide ecstatic brand experiences through your brand, through your language, through your offering, through the masterclasses, podcast, interviews, summits, keynotes, speaking, whatever it is, People need to have an experience with your brand, especially today. Especially today, because there’s a lot of noise out there and a lot of meet you brands. So we’ve got to stand out, give people ecstatic experiences.

00;31;05;26 – 00;31;20;22
Speaker 1
Have they become our brand advocates? They’re the ones that will tell another five or ten people about us. Lead generation, Ben, is the effect of all of that. So a lot of people want to start making money, but how can you make money if I don’t know who you are? How can you make money if I don’t know your story?

00;31;20;23 – 00;31;34;15
Speaker 1
How can you make money if I don’t know what your solution looks like? And then once those four things are doubting, then we need to become this. And this is the part that most people leave out. It’s like, I’ve got this great business and everything’s going great, but I’m not making money. Yeah, well, you’ve got to become it.

00;31;34;16 – 00;31;47;13
Speaker 1
You have to actually immerse yourself and that needs to be a part of your DNA, which is what we were talking about before. Managing your thoughts, managing your emotions plays a huge role in becoming that version of you.

00;31;47;13 – 00;31;57;01
Speaker 2
Very nice. Very nice. All right. Well, the next section of the show is called The Fire Round. These are questions that we ask all of our audience or all of our guests. Are you ready?

00;31;57;01 – 00;31;57;19
Speaker 1
I’m ready.

00;31;57;19 – 00;32;00;22
Speaker 2
All right. Take it away, Ken. All right. What is your favorite book?

00;32;00;23 – 00;32;10;15
Speaker 1
I think that I’m going to say The Magicians. Why? I don’t know if you guys have read it, but it’s such awesome books. It’s William White Cloud. So I would say That’s wonderful.

00;32;10;21 – 00;32;13;17
Speaker 3
Excellent. I’m writing that down. I have not read it. What are your hobbies?

00;32;13;17 – 00;32;30;21
Speaker 1
Well, I my voice is professionally trained, so right up until the age of 20. So I think I’m going to say it’s going to sound really, really, really old fashioned. But I love karaoke, so I think it is still my thing. It’s still in my blood. Karaoke, my thing. So there you go.

00;32;30;27 – 00;32;36;05
Speaker 3
That’s awesome. I love it. What is the one thing that you do not miss about working for the man?

00;32;36;05 – 00;32;37;00
Speaker 1
Politics.

00;32;37;00 – 00;32;44;03
Speaker 3
Excellent. Last one. What do you think sets apart successful entrepreneurs from those who give up, fail or never get started becoming it?

00;32;44;03 – 00;32;53;09
Speaker 1
You know, just managing, having a discipline, reading the discipline, as we discussed today, is to me the most important aspect. It’s the epicenter of entrepreneurship.

00;32;53;09 – 00;32;55;03
Speaker 3
Excellent. David, over to you. Close out the show.

00;32;55;03 – 00;33;05;13
Speaker 2
Yeah. Thank you so much for being a guest on the firing. The Man podcast in. And to those of our listeners, if they would like to get in touch with you or work with you in your business, what would be the best way to do that?

00;33;05;13 – 00;33;20;26
Speaker 1
Please feel free to book Asbury Coaching call with me which is Mary Henderson coaching dot com slash apply APL y you can get me on all social media at Mary Henderson coaching please send me an email Mary at Mary Henderson coaching ecom.

00;33;20;28 – 00;33;26;24
Speaker 2
All right. We will post links to all of that in the show notes. Mary, thank you so much for your time and looking forward to staying in touch.

00;33;26;25 – 00;33;28;12
Speaker 1
Thank you very much. Have a great day.